Wednesday, December 29, 2010

And since when I dah jadi tua??

Ok. Here’s the late announcement- of the ketibaan of my 3rd princess.

Its not that I didn’t want to announce but I thought of announcing with a picture kan? Heheh.

So kenkawan, here’s Baiduri Hailey Bt Ahmad Zaidi, 3.56kg elective ceasar at Hospital Serdang.


I have a lot to comment on my Hailey but my mind is not at the flowery state rite now.


I feel old.

Honestly, I don’t ‘feel’ I’m old.. its just that there’s this colleague of mine calling me- kak Aisyah. This is not the first time anyone called me ‘kak’ but I feel I’m terribly ‘tue’ when this Chinese colleague of mine calls me this. Oklah, truth be told, I am old- I guess. Being 30 and da 3 orang anak. Gosh..  3 kids! How did that happened?

Baru je semalam rasanya.. I was out from Uni. Baru je semalam kawen. And now, I have 3 adorable girls with me and ikan. Lovely.. but not so young.. hmmm


Twitt! I still feel young at heart… I think.


What are the differences between young & old anyway? I am more ter’arah’ I guess.. as compared in 2003. serious? Hmm a little. Wise? Hahahah heck no! responsible? Was I reckless last time? Don’t think so…


I love life- don’t get me wrong. I just don’t like thinking I’m old. My husband doesn’t look old, does he? Do I look old? Hmm maybe. (terime je lah kenyataan, Aisyah!!)

Hehehe J  


Monday, October 18, 2010

hiatus indeed~

So people, friends..

I don’t know exactly what to tell you on my hiatus. Definitely been very busy, with the raya, office (Kenanga planning to move to PJ end of this year… hence for my early packing etc… and my handover etc etc…)..couldnt make a signle day in sept for the impending hi5 reunion…


Oh.. for that, aku nak minta maaf sebanyak mungkin kat those yg attend and bagi commitment. Because of my stupid calculation, I think I did a BIG mess out of it.

But, I sincerely doa that you guys have the funnest times gathering and playing games!


For this near future, I wud also be happy if you can doa for me as well- I’m having my 3rd caesarian this Friday, to welcome my (rase2nye lah…) 3rd princess. Oops.. doa for my future daughter too ok?





Friday, September 3, 2010

about busyra..

This is soo not the good mommy entry.. and definitely, busyra will hate me if she stumbles upon this when she’s older.

But the thing is, mommy is a little sleepy in the office right now and mommy needs to occupy time by thinking and doing something interesting J


So, what about Busyra nowadays? Active.. and hmm a little (ye ke??) hardheaded. Everyone knows how ‘active’ she is. She picks up everything and puts it in her mouth, and at the same time giving her cheeky eyes- telling she knows that what she’s doing will make mommy and daddy squirm!

She has the gall to bully her sister.. oklah, aqish is not so much of a fighter.. busyra actually have no fear in fighting or provoking her other older cousins.. boys or girls. That’s the youngest cucu peridah md zain for you.

She climbs at the handles in the car…

She hangs on the rails of the swings in seremban… with no one supporting her landing..-_-”

She’s like a treasure hunter, finding the oddest things around the house…


Anyway, she does have her cuteness one way or another. Especially when she adores carrying her laundry to the laundry basket.. even took her sister’s laundry- cause aqish doesn’t bother to. Same goes to getting and putting their milk bottles in the sink.. when she makes her cute face and voice when she knows she’s in trouble..


Hmm.. this entry is simply an run through entry to help me from shutting my eyes in the office. ;)



Monday, August 23, 2010

being pregnant...

I am now in my 3rd trimester. The oh-so-wonderful life is slowly fading away. not that I’m being ungrateful and unhappy about the baby, but when the time is near, so does the uncomfortable state I am in now beginning to surface.


Why I don’t like 3rd trimesters:-

The baby is waayyyy active. Not just moving, moving. She’s jumping, kicking ass, and don’t know what else she is fighting in there. Its bearable of course but dang annoying.

Fatigue is driving me up the wall! There’s tons of things I want and need to do in my head- but my movements are becoming slower and slower, and so does my will power- when the lenguh kicks in. when that happens, all I can do is sit or lie down, which I hate if I have so many things to do!!

I’m becoming heavier, of course.. last checkup I was 55.4kg. and this leads to me walking dang slow. And dang tired climbing stairs at the monorail and star.

I haven’t taken my neurogain for the baby yet. Pity her. I should get rite on it!

And since the time is near, I am so not ready! I have to set an appointment with Hosp Serdang for my elective surgery.. I haven’t bought a thing for the baby’s arrival. And, when visiting Kak’s newborn, I felt a pang of fear. Wtf? I’m having my 3rd and I’m scared? Huhuhu~~ I am scared. A lot of things in my mind… even death- to that extent!


Well.. guess you’ve all know by now how tense I’ve become now. I’m still happy for my sunshine no.3 but dang… im stressing out!




Wednesday, August 18, 2010

i hate tetanus (betul x eja nih??) shots!

Aku kene jab semalam- to my surprise.. dah tiba masa die ke? I wasn’t being warned at all! Tetibe dr raja kata aku kene inject ari ni..(semlm). Sh*t sakit ok!

And until now my shoulder felt like someone had punched me badly.


Ok. Tu je hahahahahhahaha





Thursday, August 5, 2010

sekadar update

Heh. A lot happening since my last update tapi xdak idea and masa nak tulis.


Ikan da balik yeay!

Pose ganti cam x sempat nak abiskan…

Baju raya x dapat nak tempah.. beli siap je la nampak gayanye…

Byk gile buku da abis baca sampai x dapat nak buat rumusan kat sini (like u guys like to read them…) I usually comment kat GR la nih.

Projek ramadhan- cam biasa kunon nak khatam 1 quran.. additionally ingat nak baca tafsir from start to finish..

Reunion da lama terkubur dr kepala nih.. sian harizah, tgh pantang, die plak yg havoc. I blame only myself for this. SORRY kenkawan esp HARIZAH.

Pregnancy and all of its ups and downs.. hahaha x dapek nak summarize. Letak tajuk je ;)


I’m still loving life as it is~ sure, ade bumps and all. But as of today and few days back.. what a beautiful life!



Thursday, July 22, 2010

feeling better, i guess. (skip lagi, not important)

So.. I am still wondering why but at least what I did and had yesterday made up a bit of my day.


Ikan is gone tho. Sangat jarang both of us being separated like this for a long time. Selamba je nengok nannoor dok bintulu sebulan. OMG! I cant. Don’t think so..


Anyway, balik from keje yesterday ikan said some nice things. (1)

Balik, we singgah kat kedai segi jap beli sayur- I went wild~ ikan usually does the grocery shopping. Tapi yesterday since I wanted to cook for him, I went in. I came out with lots of vegs which come to think of, sapa lah nak makan… tinggal aku je yg makan sayur.. hmm..  (2)

Then, after maghrib, I cooked him dinner, even balik kire lambat yesterday.. I managed to cook 6 dishes everyone! Huuhuhu… selalu 3 at most. I’m so proud of myself. Terasa ade skil mak seremban plak. Heheh masak laju. (ok, x laju mana pun… we end up dining at 10!) heheheh (3)

Our lauk?

1-       Labu gulai lemak

2-       Udang masak tomato

3-       Ayam goreng kicap fusion Aisyah

4-       Terung goreng berlada

5-       Sawi goreng

6-       Ikan tenggiri goreng (for the kids)


Then, siap kemas2 dapur and basuh + ampai baju. Setel! (4)


Oklah. Terasa productive memang motivating.


Kalau we had some ‘loving’ last nite, mesti last nite jadi the best nite ever. Hahahahah. Ish ish ish ;)


And then, this morning, I woke up at 4.30 am to sahur. (…5)



Wednesday, July 21, 2010

nothing super. u may skip from reading.

Where’s my super duper? I lost it suddenly. I’m feeling blue. I myself am not sure of the cause…


Was it because ikan’s going away?

Was it last nite?

Is it my pregnancy?

Not enough sleep?



My previous dream?

Books I read lately?



Owhhh.. sounds so awful! Im attracting negative vibes and I sure don’t like it. I don’t even like myself today. I don’t feel wonderful. Even in prayers I feel this sorrow.

Ya Allah! What has come over me? I know You take care of me. Please give me happiness. Amin.


I have an idea why actually.. but too afraid to admit it. It was being talked over- over and over again. I thot I took it well, never to repeat this feeling/ doubt. But why does it comes to me in the most inconvenient time?



Monday, July 19, 2010

kasih x terungkap... as expected

I finished the malay book last Friday and what can I say.. as expected.


1-       Jalan cerita memang suam and over the top. I don’t know… whether its only me or does this really happen, or possibility of happening? Kawen senyap2 from the rest of the world especially from the guy’s parents. Hello??? Mentua laki la yg patut minta diredhai dulu, kan? Anyway.. moving on..  kawen time study kat overseas, the heroine pregnant and lived all alone… and ade another guy (who loved her dearly) ‘tolong’ jaga her and the baby…..??? really? That saint? I don’t buy it. Lagi pun, cam x aci 1 girl but managed to steal many good male hearts, even when she is already married? C’mon! da kawen da la.. you cant rely on other guy’s affection blab la bla…

2-       Heroine (Khairina)- lembik gile minah ni. You take a risk, live it on ur own.. cam budak yg x fakir panjang.. no wonder all disaster comes falling on your lap. X leh terima.

3-       Hero (Ikhwan)- lagi aku x leh terima. Wtf? Kawen rahsia2 pastu tinggalkan bini (yg u shud already suspected she’s pregnant..) and even konon missed her sooo demn much, only managed to call her once in a while?? What are you? Demented? Ingat die gefren ko? Ishhh.. and, the character- the author didn’t make him seem to dependant upon. Sekadar menyelamatkan his family by marrying an heiress… ko x leh cari keje yg better ke? Actually, towards the end pun, as tho he is living on the riches of his 2nd wife. Definitely not the kind of guy I wud dream of. At least cari kerjaya sendiri la wei.

4-       HEA? Not so much. Boy, there’s a lot of things I don’t get in this story.. even some wud say the villain (Zurin) got what she deserved for.. but I don’t buy any of it. There’s so many wrong things going on in this book that I don’t find the happy ending to that happy. Zurin pergi hospital sakit jiwa. Seriously? That’s it? No remorse, no confession no nothing?


Arghhhhh what a week! Sib baik along the week I read ‘And then he kissed her.’ Steamy stuff this one. But a funny and entertaining one that is! And I always love female with knowledge. Loved their conversation.. and really loved their confession- esp when he realized he’s already in love with her. Very light yet strongly entertaining. Sapa nak baca, let me know. I have the softcopy.



The rest of my week- da dapat the recipes I wanted. nak cari time nak buat jek. Bought RW and O&A but will start reading this weekend. Starting ‘The Bride’ by Julie Garwood plak.

Ooooo.. I’m missing ikan already! (and he is only going not until this Thursday!)




Monday, July 12, 2010

projects for my July~

So.. I have this plan.. sort of. Tang where to find the time to do it lain kira.. although I plan to at least accomplish them by end the month…


Plan 1- (jangan gelak!) Apam gula hangus

Last week or was it last 2 weeks.. nevermind… I bought this apam gula hangus from Kak Intan- the same nasi goreng/ nasi lemak  Kak Intan, and rather than my usual additional of kuih kasui and cucuq badak, I took this apam gula hangus. I don’t know why… but I was never attracted to this kuih before (ok, ikan will say that I never try anything that is out from my ordinary yeah yeah..what ever darling!). but I guess I was in my ‘trying’ mood and took it. Waahh. I liked it! Heheh gediknye!

Anyway, I plan to search for the simplest yet yummiest recipe of the thing within this week, and hopefully make ‘em before ikan goes off next week. Chewahhhh berangan! Hope its easy to make.


Plan 2- Sosej balut roti

Cam teringin nak kasi this sort of makanan untuk bekal aqish. FYI, aqish’s food is very simple. Eg- sossej KOSONG, nasi putih/ nasi lemak KOSONG, ayam goreng SAJA, nugget etc.

So, I would like to make it a bit more fun by preparing her sausage rolls ke.. and also, I used to like it.. might like it again, kalau home made… hmm..

Ikan is with me on this. He’s very terre in terms of bakings and breads etc.


Plan 3- Books: Another 2 of my last JM- Remember When & Once and Always

Since ikan is going outstation for the whole next week, I think I’ll read them next week lah. Occupying my lonely nights ahahahahahahah gedik lagi!

I’ll buy them tomorrow. There. Settle part 1.


Plan 4- Books: Baca buku-novel melayu

I must say.. this gives me the goosebumps. I am not trying to be berlagak atau poyo dgn not wanting to read malay books, cume kurang exposure and pengaruh kot.

Well, I took a gamble last Friday (book fair by Utusan Publishing rasanya…) at Hg Tuah monorail lagi.. and bought ‘Kasih tak terungkap’. I hope it does not disappoint me.

I’ve read malay novels during kat SMAP dulu, kire satu zaman kitorng baca JM and Sidney Sheldon dulu aa… some are great, some (and most of them) disappointing. Few things that bug me were:

  • Jalan cerita suam2..
  • Not so much of a HEA ending. Selalu ade je melibatkan orang baik yang mati.
  • Toooo poetic. Kekadang I cant grasp the story sebab ayat bunga2 giler.. some of the words I don’t understand. In English, you can google.. kalau malay.. eh.. leh ke?
  • Some principles of the characters tu goes against my own. Kalau mat Salleh, I don’t mind sgt sbb its their culture. Lantaklah. Contohnye, kalau la the hero and heroine beriye ikutkan cinta, belakangkan their parents.. automatically I have a negative perception towards the malay characters. No matter how in love they are. I know, I know.. these are fictions.. but still…


Well, enough of that. I haven’t had a lot of exposure yet and I’m thinking about all this.

Anyway, the book is 702 pages. Hope to finish it by this week. X leh spill to next week! Hehehe got other plans, as mentioned ;)  


Ok. Cukup 4 projects for the rest of my July. Wish me luck!




Friday, July 9, 2010

books, i'm beginning to love them!

Since me having such fun reading nowadays, I got myself joining this to basically know what books are good to read, and to read book reviews. Its such a nice place to pacify my ‘sayangnya- nak- lepaskan-buku-ni’ feeling.


After like a month I guess, I searched for any Malaysian groups- which I did and baru je start to follow..

i viewed the member’s profile, just for curiosity and learning what type of books they read.. there’s this girl, she read 1300+ books already. Gile aa. KAGUM!

There’s this guy pulak, he reads a lot too.. and he writes his reviews- excellently! Loved it! Terpengaruh nak baca the books he reviewed. He stated that he doesn’t read romance (what else is new?- for every guy, kan?).. honestly, I don’t see myself only reading romance novels, even tho my books I read are nearly all romances. You give me a nice book, I will sure to read it.

Well, anyway, I think I’d like to follow his blog - and especially his reviews. English die best. And funny. Cume, I’m not into the buying online books yet unlike these people.. (well, except for the secret…) Maybe because I haven’t tried it yet?

I now have a tinie winie understanding of the feeling those GR members that are addicted to buying books. Aku rase I have to have some sort of super power je x nak gi MPH kat crown plaza tu (because I haven’t bought Remember When and Once & Always yet..) tu belum lagi addicted to other authors lagi tu.


Don’t we live in a nice world? The world is beautiful!



Monday, July 5, 2010

perutku lagi~

So, I couldn’t wait until next Tuesday for my monthly visit with my gynae- Dr Raja Ju*aidah.

[can I selit one thing here… its about the history of Dr Raja. She’s a gynae in Columbia asia and only she has night clinics (O&G of course). I decided to not to go to Dr Intan in Seremban- sebab is far and she’s too busy for any drop in patients, if I had to. Anyway, during the search of a suitable gynae for me-  night/ weekend clinics & pompuan islam, let’s just say that we (me and ikan) had a BIG fight over this. At the time when he suggested Dr Raja, he made me believe- dgn sungguh confident sekali! That this Dr Raja is some Indian Male gynae. That kunonnye this is my only choice for a night clinic gynae. Male, Indian some more.. “Yang ada Dr Raja (penuh baku sebutan suamiku ini). Laki india.. tu je ada” and I was offended that he would suggest such to me knowing that I want a FEMALE muslim for someone to look at my vajayjay. Gishh darling! We fought like hell..

Then, I went to Columbia myself during the day (mc le kirenye ni).. when I was having my week long of bleeding. I asked the receptionist to refer me to a female O&G. Malas nak sebut islam, nanti takut ade kata aku racist plak hehhe.. anyway, mamat kat counter tu pun gave me- “is Dr Raja Ju*aidah ok with you maam?”. I think I smiled. Cause, I don’t think there’s a possibility that this Dr Raja and Dr Raja (ikan’s version) are 2 different persons…

Penat je gaduh. If only my dearest ikan further asked the receptionist Dr Raja’s full name… for the record, ikan insisted that the fault be the receptionist he spoke over the phone, for not giving him the doctor’s full name and for pronouncing it with baku- Raja.

So, that’s how Dr Raja became my gynae this pregnancy… J still gives me a smile…]


Okay, back to my original story- I told her that im having the C for 1 week now and its bugging the hell out of me. I gave her the folax which the GP gave me and she, frowned and to my satisfaction, she too kutuk the GP saying that I shouldn’t go to an inexperience GP. Hehehe suke!.

Anyway, she gave me 2 kinds of meds- one to solve my current problem and the other for avoiding re-occurrence. Balik umah- walaaaahhhh suke. But the act of inserting something through ur anal is not anything pleasant at all! Nangis aku! (cant imagine those who you know what se*ually…)

Im just saying- im all relieved now J J J


And then, Dr kate lagi, that I don’t have to bother what I eat affecting the baby.. not until I am 30 weeks I should be monitoring and controlling as by then the baby will absorb whatever I eat. Wuhuuuuuu! I can indulge myself with chocolate cakes and chocs and sweets. Ok lah, just have to watch out for my own body becoming bigger but at least I can be aware kan?

Today’s plan is to bake a choc moist cake later. (ps. Aqish siap tanye whose birthday was it that I am fussying over to buy the ingredients for the cake)

(just as long my constipation comes back!) I’m gonna have so much funnnn J




Thursday, July 1, 2010

updates- books & baby-inside-me

I’ve finished this very funny sci-fi romance book recently. The book was loaned from Johanna, after I told her that I love Kingdom of Dreams sebab it was hilariously romantic. So, she gave me ‘Warrior’s Woman’ by Johanna Lindsey. Like always- this is an old book…

It was hard at first to read the book sebab at first (taking a quote from before…) I have difficulty visioning characters that are not in this era, let alone another planet.. hahahah but fortunately it wasn’t anything extra ordinaire like Avatar- the characters. They were human. The heroine a futuristic warrior and the hero a powerful and strong barbarian warrior… (and.. wealthy of course!) basically they found, fight and fell in love with each other. But the differences between the 2 worlds are definitely kelakar! Although, I don’t think this is suitable for unmarried (and young) ladies to read it as I personally would label the book as a bit of lucah. Kire macam Scary Movie. Funny as hell, but censored in a whole.  However, its not empty lucah. There is a story line behind it and I like it. No big conflict to play around with your emotions but… hmm… I better not say. What I can say is that.. the mild hatred is understandable and felt.

I don’t think I’ll be reading a lot of those any time soon. I think.

I love the female characters here, especially Martha- the free thinker computer. Kire, computer yg ade fikiran sendiri. The heroine- Tedra, I like her sebab she is untouched and knowledgeable. Not 100% submissive, but will submit with a reason and principle. The hero- I don’t seem to love him sebab afterall, he IS a barbarian- sort of. Johanna Lindsey didn’t try to make him look intelligent.. just plain very handsome and strong. Towards the end, when he poured his love to Tedra (when he thought Tedra was dying…) Nampak la ok sket. Menganggu I sket la bile the hero seemed less intelligent than the heroine. Yeah, call me conservative, lame whatever. But I personally feel that man with much more knowledge than his woman is sexy. (hik hik… I memang depend on ikan for most of my extra knowledge seeking- world affairs, politics, entertainment, medicines, food, agama.. sometimes, even my line of work. hehehe- what can I say. I see my ikan very sexy. Hehehe) btw, I think most of my friends (and you guys too…) feel the same way too. Kan?

Ooo.. btw, I once told ikan that women loves being dominated by men, don’t we not? I have a friend where long time ago, she parted with her then boyfriend because he was too of a yes-man. She end up marrying a guy, nampak cam garang tapi tampak loving and he really suit her. And all along, I thought that most woman prefer a guy that will do her bidding and stuff. Hehehe. Well, kalau ada pun pompuan cam tu, me and most of those I know does not fall in that category.

What can I say? Or do for that matter. Im still having my C. and hating every minute of it, especially after a meal. A meal that I must and want to take tapi cant enjoy it much sebab perut and bonts x sedap.

I met with a GP and she sucked like hell. Nak jumpe gynae, I have to wait until next Tuesday for my monthly check up sbb Tuesday je die ade clinic malam. Gishh… (and, napa aku x gi last Tuesday? Because her schedule was full lah! That’s why…). But in the meantime, I’m indulging myself with masam orange juice, strawberries.. pisang x jalan. Prunes and figs aku x makan. I need something realy bad! Just to let the current ones released. Waduuhhhhh sungguh la x comfortable!

As for the baby, waaahhhh at 5 months, she is really active. Which I am very ever grateful. She’s about 10 inch now, from what I read… belum beli apa2 lagi for her. Since x 100% confirm lagi whether her or him. But for what’s it worth (sebenarnye x nak kasi harapan…) I’ll keep on calling her.. (surprisingly, if it’s a girl, da ada nama.. kalau boy, x kompem lagi.. heheh finalized je). Anyway… she is very active at night especially. But she’s silent like an adorable sporting child when im with ikan. She kicks when her sister- aqish wishes to feel her move.. how lovely. Macam aqish bakal gang up with the baby je.. lawan busyra. Hahahahah.

Best la pregnant. In these times of course… masa morning sickness and the 3rd trimester tu, I don’t think a lot of woman feels this. Kak long and me are few of them. Kak long is in her 1st trimester, which means all the complaints, morning sickness yg dragged to malam sickness, moody, annoyance, sleepy and fatigue giler.. heheheh. I remembered I uttered some ungrateful and selfish words last trimester. I hope Allah x take me seriously. I LOVE BEING PREGNANT.  

To all preggies out there. What a wonderful world we live in ain’t it?

Monday, June 28, 2010


No wonder I’m fat- even at 5 months only!


Even tho this is quite the routine before I was pregnant.. but still kan?


Every morning (almost la…) I eat nasi lemak, (unless kak intan jual nasi goring then I’ll have nasi goring for breakfast)..

Then, after the nasi lemak and no serious meeting or any other exciting task to do…I start to mengantuk.

After unsuccessfully membuka mata (before pregnancy, the mengantuk wasn’t this bad…) and no where to lelapkan kejap… I go downstairs for a coco loco- GJ, with cream of course! And lots of chocs (kata loco…).


Malam tadi, I had 2 pinggan nasi panas with pekasam (a nice pekasam does this to me- I can actually tambah for the 3rd time tapi takut nanti I woke up not recognizing myself).


And, since chocolates sentiasa ade kat fridge (for bribing the kids actually…)… whenever I have a craving for something sweet, I dig inside the choc container.


Arghhhh. I have to stop this. Kang, penat je x makan obimin (camne ntah eja…). Anak tetap besau because of my diet. Hish! Aisyah stop rite now!


I think I shud stock up fruits in stead in the fridge kan? Apple ke, pear ke,.. (ohhh boring nye options!)


Friday, June 25, 2010

pregnancy update

I’m having constipation. Argh. Menci.


Although, I noticed that I don’t eat as much as when I was 5 month pregnant with Busyra, or did I, abah? I hope I don’t gain weight that much.


But I do need what ever I eat to leave my body. Aduhh sakit bonts aku nih. Ulang alik ke mr T but nothing satisfying pun!


PS. What a ugly post~~ theee heee heee




Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Aku adalah antara org yg maleh nak dgr sangat propaganda2 in the internet. To me, internet is used to share and spread knowledge. Opening up the world for everyone. Definitely, ramai yg abuse the service.


I am a muslim but I dare say that I do not believe in such big fuss over coca cola to be la Muhammad and la mekah. Yes, the drink is not healthy for mankind but to that extend?


I just received an email from a co-worker on CROCS. Wtf? Me and her- we have no grudge against another. (I don’t usually have any grudge with my officemates cause I just don’t care enough about them..) anyway, she definitely know that I wear crocs to work. I walk a lot. There. Then this email came and its about the lambang to be lambang Allah. Supposedly muslims are wearing them on the tapak of the shoe, as tho memijak Allah? You gotta be kidding me? That too? Some jewish/ Christian way to disgrace islam?

I am definitely not that of a secular nor I am a pious muslim. But I am a muslim, loving my god, Allah. I do not wear crocs and damned now as tho I am memijak Allah.


I just don’t get it why some just get tooo far when it comes to this sort of stuff. You don’t know for real. If it is true then I don’t think Allah marah kat kita but to those intentionally disgracing Him. But, to doubt every single thing what the west created and to turn it into a religious war.. that aint right.


Why do we have to spread hate?

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.-MOZART-




books again.. and the reason i lost my husband :(

Hahaha… ikan is now unofficially not a fan of this blog anymore.. reason being? Because I always talk about books. (babe, you should notice by now that you are more than involved with me when it comes to these not-your-kinda-interest books…) Kata2 nak pujuk sang suami- you have to know that when I write those reviews, I always have you in my mind, as I’ve you in my mind when I read them. I KNOW FOR A FACT YOU ARE NOT LIKE IAN- marah x tentu pasal when the problem was his fault in the first place! But, when the heroes are being kind, I always smile because my ikan is kind. X romantic but very kind. ;)


These books… although yes, generally men hates romance books, but I guess it doesn’t hurt for you guys to read them and if you are up for it, discover what makes a your ladies kepang. I do believe that you guys would love it too when suddenly your wife acts as though she was like when you first flirt and that initial months after marriage tu.. kan? Ke aku je?Just keep in mind that, don’t go belittling the over exaggerated heroes –but focus on how deeply these heroes love the heroine that makes us ladies love them. J hahaha kalau ikan berjaya membaca hatta 1 bijik buku JM, maka aku adalah pompuan paling hebat di dunia! hahah


Moving along..


Anyway, my current book is also historical heheh but not romance nor it is fiction. Its called ‘Medal of Honor Heroes’. Basically they’re true short stories of recipient of the Medal of Honors of the US army/ marine you get the idea- during WW1 and US civil war times. During the day, I will be reading it, at night, it’ll be ikan’s turn. So I guess… I’ll be getting my husband back here soon?

I’ll may be write a bit on US civil war later.. maybe.



Monday, June 21, 2010

JM- Something Wonderful

My latest JM book finished- Something Wonderful.


I actually don’t like the hero that much, but not hating him like Ian Thornton in Almost Heaven. However, I understand why he’s an S in the first place. But I didn’t feel excited reading this book. To me, it’s kinda lukewarm romantic story. I guess this is how other JM readers felt about Night Whispers, after having experienced all of her other books. I do however liked the reconciliation part but thought the ending could be elaborated further. The Epilogue sucks, compared to WML’s epilogue.. this is definitely a 1 out of 10. Tapi, overall cerita is ok. Oohh.. I did cry though.. bile Jordan realized Alex’s life was terrible, masa she was in coma,  and when he gave the heart shaped lockets. Baguih. Romantic. If it wasn’t for Almost Heaven and the fact that I know she’ll lived, I wasn’t that sad (as compared to kalau I didn’t know- even may have suspected due to the HEA ending for ALL JM books…) when Alex was shot in the head. Satu lagi.. rase nak tampar je para investigators yg diupah oleh hero2 AH and SW. x serupa investigator langsung yg kunonnye diupah extravagantly. Pastu, dah tau buat keje teruk, x pulak derang kene apa2 kan? Reprimand ke, suh die minta maaf kat mangsa ke.. cam contemporary books she wrote, the FBI involved akan rase ashamed and explained their mistake. At least sedar la yang die screwed up.


There. Maleh nak komen pasal my last 2 books from JM- Once and Always & Remember When. Bile ntah nak beli.



Friday, June 18, 2010

JM lagi. and cuti sekolah bebudak nih.

So… I bought another 2 JM.. Something Wonderful and Almost Heaven last week. So much for ‘I want to stay away from bookstore—and I’m only going to continue my phase 2 next month… konnonn!’


Anyway, review for those books (to be fair as I did with the phase 1 JMs…) :p,


1-       Double Standard

Like I told you, I read this book because Judith said that it was based on a true story of her father. Ade sorang minah yg hampeh dalam the book (how hampeh? She-a wealthy girl abandoned her own son (of with an average guy) and later buat dek, some more made him as he was her enemy when she remarried a wealthy guy even though the boy is soo cute and tried to ‘bribe’ her into coming back for him buy buying her an expensive gift (from his allowances- when he was 5!). In stead of even showing gratitude, she shoved the gift away to her maid. The boy had grown up never to ever buy a present to single female ever. That boy, was Judith McNaught’s father. Sedih gile! The story was actually about a love affair of the boy (now a guy definitely- a very handsome and successful one that is, naturally…). The story- It was too over the top to me tapi hell, loved the book! A bit of humor especially when Nicky made him absent from a supposedly very important international trade meeting because of Lauren. Twice! That was funny. And lovely ending, like always.


2-       Kingdom of Dreams

A VERY FUNNY ROMANCE story! Nasib baik the book is thin so, I hadn’t had to sleep at 4am for this book… but it was such a nice love story. Honestly, as for now, Royce is my bestest male character ever. Baik and loving giler. Not to mentioned loyal and forgiving. Hehehe.. I read this book don’t know how many times after finishing it the first time. Sangat light and entertaining. Definitely my most favorite historical- medieval novel. I don’t think I’ll be bored of this one. I love the humor but there’s sadness and patriotism too, all of them shook my emotions. Not to the terrible extent like WML and Perfect but almost to that level, which I prefer actually.


3-       Almost Heaven

What a sad story. Aku tak tahan ngan kehidupan minah heroine nih. I am definitely not as strong as her. I cant even imagine I am slightly to have her kind of spirit, courage, and forgiveness. And I hate the male character- Ian Thornton. Aku rase I see me more as Alex in this book- mind you I haven’t read Something Wonderful yet. The tragedies- gile aa! Menyampah ade la aku ngan cerita buku nih because of turbulence of emotions it granted me, even if a good ending. Ok lah, ok lah! I liked the book- proof is because that I just finished it on Wednesday and I already had re-read it twice! Hehehe only part yg best je. Yg happy2 je. Yg bab marah2 and ‘bodohnye-bodohnye Ian!’ I skipped. I really don’t like Ian Thornton. However, I did read and read the reconciliation part over and over again.. hahah just to wet my eyes! Tapi even so, rase nak lempang je si Ian tu. Bladi ignorant and kunon macho aa. Pastu cam perasan2 ayam. Pheh! Hehehe over excited plak! :P. not until the last reconciliation tu I finally inclined to forgive him, but not entirely 100%. Tahan climax kunon nak minta maaf. Piidaaaahh! Not everything is about sex u know! Hehehe emo lagi :P


Another book to read (kunonnye next month tu…) this weekend is Something Wonderful. Hopefully it’s a light story, even tho I doubt it much. The main characters- Jordan & Alex was mentioned (and played a big part jugakla…) in Almost Heaven. So, I guess you should read SW before AH.



Kesian my kids that me and ikan didn’t managed to take even as much as 1 day leave for the school holiday. Initial plan was that the kids balik kedah seminggu and balik seremban seminggu. Camne ntah x jadi… lagipun, one weekend, org2 seremban gi Singapore, so we decided we’re gonna hang around at Sunway… lagipun, ade voucher dok kat Sunway Suites. Ok lah. I expected worst, it turned out to be a very delightful stay! Nyeh nyeh..


On Saturday, we went to Sunway Lagoon.. btw, busyra was having fever since Monday actually and ikan hesitated in letting her play in the sun and pool. Busyra, kalau demam sangat panas and merisaukan… (says all parents with high fever kids heheh). Tapi, sampai je kat pool area, Busyra la paling sakan skali kan? Dgn pampers masih di bontotnye itu, di gi terjun je masuk pool dalam! Nasib baik ade floaters kat lengan tu. And then, after we had tired ourself at the other 2 parks- baru la sedar yg si Busyra kecik nih telah sembuh dr her fever! Gish adik! You needed excitement and fresh air rupanye! Hehehe

Aqish seemed to have fun too.. even towards the end die da lemah gemalai dah. By the time nak dinner she was a bit cranky.. and she had Rocky (yg choclate batang2 tu..) for her dinner. Walhal, adik siap makan macam2 lagi. Nasik la, fries la, sotong  & mushroom tepung la, abih dish lat manhattan FM, adik makan half of mama’s (corrected: memang beli ut kadik sebenarnye…) classic cinnabon. Hebat x anak mama yg sorang nih? Heheheh tu x kire dah kasi susu kat kedai makan tadi tu. Hahahah busyra busyra! U’re soo kiut.

Sunway Pyramid tu die buat cam playground die plak tu.. sukati je nak jalan sensorang kat depan.

Cume, sian aqish pulak sebab she had picked up some fever that night and the day after. Sib baik kakak nih rajin makan ubat. Cepat je sembuh. J


Nak letak gambar but dalam phone ikan. So.. Nampak gayanya memang x dapat lah nak upload… L




Thursday, June 10, 2010

sessi marah.

I’m soo pissed off ngan org yg moody pastu nak keluarkan kemarahan tu kat org lain. Bladihel gile. U deal with your own hormone man! I’m not ur bladi waif!




I found this article in the net and thought that it’s worth to share. Even though that it’s based on a mat Salleh marriage and relationship, try to take the gist of it. Make true sense and I like it.



How to make your husband happy for the rest of your married lives

It would be fairly safe to say that most wives or women about to tie the knot would put making their husbands happy at the top of their life ambitions. Most wives would also claim to know what makes them happy, which begs the questions; Why do 50% of all marriages end in divorce? And why are so many husbands unfaithful? The problem is that it will take 20 years of marriage to really understand what will make your husband happy and him, most of his life, if ever.

You won't find all the answers here, the truth lies within the relationship that is called a marriage and hopefully you already have a good understanding of how your husband ticks. This page is more about getting you to ask the right questions and come up with the correct answers and help you understand more about your relationship.

So what is happiness? Are you happy right now? Is your husband happy? What makes you happy? What makes your husband happy?

We will address these questions later but let's look at the situation right now. We can only talk in generalities because your husband is an individual and all men are not the same. However, it is important to understand that men and women apart from the obvious differences are not so very different. You both have feelings, you are both capable of love, you both want to be loved, you want many of the same things and nowadays most men and women have a number of similar interests.

Little wonder then that the spouses in most successful marriages consider themselves to be best friends as well as lovers.

You are about to get married or maybe you have been married for a while and realise that your marriage is not progressing as you had hoped. Whatever your situation, we need to go back to before your wedding day and the lead up to your marriage. Although we are talking about your husband, much of this will also apply to you.

Your husband has chosen you out of the billions of other women in the world to spend the rest of his life with. As much as he loves you, certain doubts will begin to form in the lead up to the wedding, shortly after or even during the service. This is only natural, it is the most major life changing decision he will have ever made. It is not his love for you that he is questioning; he will be questioning his own capabilities and insecurities.

Despite the rise of feminism and "Women's Lib", men still see themselves as the person responsible for their wives care, safety and protection. Men were always the hunter gatherers and warriors, it is deep in their DNA and psyche and it is likely to take another millennium before this is bred out of them. It would be just as true that women feel safe and secure in their arms of their husbands so things haven't changed that much either from a woman's point of view.


People might talk about marriage being an equal partnership but your husband, despite what he says or believes he thinks will now have the weight of responsibility on his shoulders. He might not understand his feelings of insecurity, he might not even realise he is having them, but deep down he will believe that his job is to provide for you, put a roof over your head, protect you and one day, possibly have the added responsibility of having children. The pressures will be enormous and he will no doubt be questioning, sublimely or subconsciously, if he is up to the job.

He will most likely have ambitions or dreams to give you a big house, nice car, holidays and the sort of life everybody dreams of. He will be questioning his abilities to provide the type of life he believes you deserve and whilst you would be quite happy living in a caravan in a field so long as you are together, he like most men will look at the lifestyles of other more successful married couples and be asking himself if he is good enough.

You shouldn't try and curb his ambitions, you should share them but also help to manage them by both of you setting timescales and managing your finances. As more arguments between married couples are caused by debt problems than anything else, it is important that your ambitions do not get you into debt. The pleasure of buying something you both want will be far and away outweighed by the grief of the money problems it will cause. We all like to receive gifts but it will be down to you to help manage your joint spending. You cannot offload this responsibility. By being patient and waiting, you will get everything you want without the tears.


Getting married means you will have had your last first kiss. That tentative exciting and exhilarating moment that we have all experienced. Remember kissing your husband for the first time? The first few dates where you were waiting and he was late? The first time you made love? The moments of insecurity. Was it OK? Did you please him? Did you satisfy him? Were you the best? Well, that is exactly what he was thinking.

It was those moments of spontaneity, the insecurities, the early fears and worries that made the whole affair so exciting almost painful at times, but such a sweet pain that it was a strange pleasure. Getting married is sometimes a relief, a release from the anxieties you felt in the early weeks and months of your relationship. You have got your man and now you can relax. NO YOU CANNOT.

Many couples, having tied the knot sit back with a feeling of contentment. They have now got what they really wanted out of life and can now relax and enjoy the rest of their lives together.

Contentment is not the same as happiness. Contentment is not a feeling of euphoria, it is not exciting, it doesn't make you laugh or cry, it is not a sense of heightened pleasure and it doesn't stimulate the senses. Whilst contentment is boredom, it is boring and this is where so many marriages go wrong.

Marriage usually makes sex more accessible. Evening meal, do the washing up, watch a bit of television, then off to bed for a probably prearranged session of love making. For the first few weeks, months, even years, this maybe alright, but most couples will settle in to a routine where sex is simply something they do as a ritual. He will most likely do it because he needs the physical relief, you will most likely comply because you always have.

What happened to sex in the back of the car, the romantic dinners, the spontaneity, the stolen moments, the feeling of apprehension, the quickies in the most unlikely of places, the romantic weekends and the passion?

The back seat of the car has child seats and is covered in crisps, the romantic dinners are now a takeaway pizza and a bottle of red, spontaneity is getting a cup of tea made for you when you didn't expect it, stolen moments are when you sit down for ten minutes to read a magazine, feelings of apprehension are waiting for Eastenders to start, a quickie is dashing down to the supermarket to get some milk, a romantic weekend is watching the Sunday afternoon weepy; and as for the passion, that's him watching the match and you having a bar of chocolate.

Wives will argue, they have the children to look after, a house to run, often a full or part time job and they are tired. Yes they probably are. But aren't these the same women who had full time jobs before they got married, probably had their own flat, went out every weekend and most week nights burning the candle at both ends and made love most of the night before dragging themselves off to work the next day?

Aren't these the same women who always got showered and did their makeup and hair before they went on a date, made sure they wore sexy matching underwear, even went to the trouble of putting on stockings and suspenders because they knew their boyfriends found them sexy? Didn't these same women flirt, tease and do everything they could to turn their men on because it made them feel great to know they were lighting fires of desire?

Now the husband come home from work, his wife hasn't showered all day, hasn't done her makeup or hair, is wearing a house suit with marmite and jam stains down the front and regales her husband that he will have to fix the sink because little Johnny has poured glue down the plughole. Husband if he is lucky gets a kiss on the cheek and a cup of tea.

As for sex. That now falls between "you've got to be joking; after the day I've had." or "God is that all you think of, give it a rest, I'm exhausted." or "OK but make it quick, I need to sleep."

This is not what he signed up to when he got married. He expected you to put on a bit of weight when you had the kids. He knew when you gave up work that he would have to work longer hours to support you all; and he expected his sex drive to diminish as he entered middle age. What he didn't expect was to get sidelined, he thought you enjoyed the sex as much as him and whilst the fast food dinners you now cook because you haven't got the time or inclination to prepare him a proper meal have taken their toll a bit, he thought you would still find him interesting and not lose interest in yourself or him.

This why you see so many adverts on singles sites where women are looking for a new partner that must be honest, because their husband went off with his tail between his legs because he no longer felt loved or desired. Have a look at any dating site and try and find any female looking for a male that doesn't stipulate that he has to be honest. Nigh on impossible.

Which brings me back to my unofficial wedding vows. Not that I am condoning infidelity but most husbands lies and infidelity start some years into a marriage. Whilst his wife lied at the alter when she said:

"I will stand by you no matter what happens throughout the rest of my life. I will love you more each day, come what may, I will support you when you need me, I will love you because of your faults and not despite of them, I will forgive you when you hurt me, I will never knowingly do anything to hurt you, I will consider your every needs, I will face every problem beside you and wherever possible take those problems away and I will ask for nothing in return except your love and to know you are happy, because all I want and need in life is to spend the rest of my life with you."

When I started talking about the secret of a happy marriage I said you have to treat every day as if it were more important than the last. This included your husband. All men have needs both physical and emotional and it is essential that you meet those needs in order to keep him happy.

If you are about to get married, you need to take this information on board. Getting married is not the end, it is the start and you will need to keep reminding yourself about how happy and why you were so happy before you got married.


My comments:


I remembered being guilty of the paragraphs in red. That was after aqish was born, I felt content with my life, and I remembered all I cared about was my daughter and the house. My ikan is there for me emotionally, physically too but it wasn’t as exciting as our first months of mariage. What I felt important was that the house has to be in order for me to really enjoy the night, which was very seldom..  And, I remembered those days, we always fought. On the littlest things.


Yes, I am embarrased to blurt this all but I think it is a very good advice, i.e. to keep the ‘kepang’ ß my school mates know what I mean here… even after some time of mariage. Bukan nak kate my marriage is boring, its just I found it to be soo true, now that I am so excited to bring back the romance back into our mariage. I left contentment behind me. I hope it last. Da x mau take my hubs for granted. He’s there like when I was first infatuated by him. Eager to tell him what a day I had, his day.


I remembered talking to Elin on this- she’s getting married (I didn’t spoil your surprise, did i?). Anyway, I think it is something really good to ponder. I like it now when I acted as though during dating dulu2. to put an effort of going out. KESIMPULAN die adalah- don’t ever feel the contentment. Be exciting. And, I think I read some where, that in order to make your marriage happy, make sure your purpose of marriage is to make your spouse happy with expecting nothing in return. Ikhlas lah kirenye. I agree to this, eventhough sometimes it may be harder than it sound, but just keep in mind, always.


I am trying my best to.