contraceptive day 8

i started nuvaring on 16th and today is my 8th day.

the insertion is easy peasy. seriously, i dont feel a thing.

the side effects?
not sure whether nausea is one of them or this is simply gas in my tummy. but its been a week now i- i felt like vomiting in the morning (only). please, dont let it be pregnancy again.
horny as hell- i noticed.
headache- minor, but again.. this might be the gas again.
there's some rash (ikan said) at my bon bon.
insomnia.. but maybe thats because of aydeen crying. (mommy's boy have to have his mom's arm pit near his face to sleep. and his mom rather be under his dad's arm pit.)

but so far, its okay. will be taking it out on June 6. will update that later (urgh... if you still want to hear read)

a quickie.

yeahh!!! received this from the mail today!

apologies for the camera quality. satu- ia di bawah meja dua- my phone adalah kuno hp.. hahaha

taking from the author herself,

'...Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them...'

here here~

f*cking cracking funny

i normally go to TheMalaysianReader's blog for good reviews or simply for a good chuckle reading his posts.
today, i am soo thankful for his desperation-to-read-something-funny that led me to be a fan of 'The Bloggess'. it is amazingly wtf-funny!

i seriously banged my head on my desk reading her posts. real or no.

*looks up to [heaven]* THANK GOD FOR THE NET!

my 'old' issue... again

ok, ok. for those who reads my post from a year back or so.. you would already know i dread being old.
and later i uhm... guess supposedly resigned to the notion.

well.. my resignation was with condition, actually. heh :p

i know i am no longer young. even though i favor most songs on 'we are young, forever young etc etc..' you get my drift.
but i separate myself from those kakak2 abang2 and encik2 (mid forties with kids in secondary schools)
to me they labeled as *sheepishly* uhm.. older generation.. (c'mon! i was born in 1980! still counts as gen-y kan?)

anyway, i am at peace (if not slightly disturbed) when a 10 year old calls me auntie/ achik. (actually, i almost strayed my cycling route when this boy hailed to me 'hi auntie!') but after recovering, yes, i managed to gesture a peace sign to him.. albeit not straight away :p

i, however, sangat terkedu when my neighbour's kid of ~14yo calls me 'hi achik'.

whoa? did that just happened?
(me and ikan were playing badminton and i honestly missed ikan's shuttlecock, and an easy one at that!)

i  know logically the boy should call me this. his younger sisters calls me achik too. nope, dont mind a'tall. but his younger sisters are ~aqish's age.

sekali lagi i was being knocked to senses. another sign to get the ibadah kicking!

The Hunger Games Trilogy

Oh, before that. I read and sometimes I put my thoughts on those books here but I am NOT in anyway starting a book blog.. well.. at least not in this blog. This one was supposed to be my experience using the secret but hahahah.. well, that turned out perfectly well, didn’t it?

Back to business.
As mentioned previously, I L.O.V.E Suzanne Collins! She writes splendidly!

I love all of 3 books in the trilogy but I didn’t like how she (and the director) did with the movie. I specifically hated the ‘blair-witch-project’ style of camera shooting. Its dizzying. :p

The Hunger Games
The first book in the trilogy is intriguing- it wrecked my emotional yin yang. I cried a lot reading this one. But also it somehow made me energetic and in a fight/survive mode. I love Katniss’ kindness act but not quite in her surviving act. Its because I like Peeta- his sense of maturity and kindness. Somehow, I hated Katniss for ‘acting’ to be in love with him, although it was needed for both of them to survive. At least, she should hint him that it was for the game, and not letting him on. But then, this is needed to strengthen the story line in book 3. *sighs* the book is perfect, to be honest.

But I did have the need to take a break and hence, I read The Hunger Pains, right before (or in between) I read the second installation. Just to get the feel again but also to reset my emo state to be at cheerful mode. :p deng its funny. Bodoh funny, but funny all the same.

Catching Fire
Uhm.. to tell you the truth. Reading the second book wasn’t too exciting. It was needed to introduce and strengthen the new characters. It also showed how Katniss developed a more adult feeling towards Peeta, but hold your horses... nothing exciting happened.

Anger and frustration- those were frequent feelings I had while reading. Romantic? a few.

This is where they don’t give a fig about the outcome of their lives and developed their sense of rebellion. Another must have before starting with Book3. Okay, it seems my opinion on the second book is quite dull. But its not so bad. Its still an interesting read.

Mocking Jay
Now, this is where the story gets serious. It tells us about war. Its simple, really- you hate being oppressed, you want to fight back and usurp the current ruler. And, yes, it involved war. But, there it is. War. It’s not so simple. Though fictional and I shouldn’t be thinking about it too much, but I can’t help it. Its definitely thought provoking. The story is wonderfully practical (can I say that?) what I mean is, while you are reading a fictional story and hoping/ expecting a HEA, which she delivered, but there were also unhappy endings especially to good characters. *spoiler alert* I love Finnick and Prim but they ended up dead.*end spoiler* Now, in normal stories, you would want to lash at the author. But somehow, I feel that the story needs this- to tell that war brings casualties. War brings sadness. It cannot say to readers (especially teenagers- young adults) that war is the answer and everything will be merrily ever after.

Though, I like the ending, albeit not too excited about it- having (the handsome) Gale out being this sophisticated government intelligence whatever, and kissing another pair of lips, as quoted by Katniss. He didn’t do anything wrong but I was hoping that he knows Katniss chose Peeta and not him (is it obvious I’m in team Peeta?) and not because of circumstances. Not because they wont be able to work out because of the bombing.

Another thing I love this third installation is because of what Plutarch said

“… Now we’re in that sweet period where everyone agrees that our recent horrors should never be repeated. But collective thinking is usually short-lived. We’re fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction. Although who knows? Maybe this will be it, Katniss …[This] time it sticks. Maybe we are witnessing the evolution of the human race. Think about that”

It summarizes somehow.

I wish I was reading these with my kids are in their teens. It’s really something I want them to read and ponder.

polite or not having the guts?

one thing i hate using the train to work is encountering peraba. *spits!* a$$holes, them lot!

you want your day to start off cheerful, happy and positive.
and then when you have to be sardined into the train, its still ok. prasarana may have their own legitimate reasons why they have to treat their customers like this, no?

but then, when you suddenly feel that some guy's hand suspiciously rubs your bum, and even after a not so subtle hint for the hand to 'bugger off!', you still feel it. argh #$@! would you want to just tell him off?

before you think i may be exagerating or syak wasangka.. cmon! i know there's room for his hands to grip the handle (both his right and left hands!) i even looked  stared directly at his hands on the job! why would you want to dangle your hand towards my bum when there is a perfectly free space at the handle bar for your hands to rest/ hold on to.

when i stared at his left hand, i felt again the slight rub by his right! i mean! seriuosly! i dont even HAVE a butt! go feel up your own a$$, f*cking b*stard!

(see? what reliving it made me feel? all fired up with anger!)

anyway, i dont know what actually refrained me from saying "dude! (or gramps for all i care), do you want me to swear at you and embarass you in here? or do you rather get your f*cking hands away from my f*cking butt?"

ok. sekarang i am all fired up, explains all the swearing.

why didnt i have the gut to say at least "excuse me, im not comfortable with your hands near my behind. can you hold on to the handle or aything?"

malu or plain malas? or takut? what? what makes most malaysian women cant speak when they are violated? why?

being a parent is hard.

hahaha..
baru sekarang terfikir?

its not that we dont know this. almost everybody knows that parenting is hardwork.
from birth, with what the waking ups at night, the early education, the lessons we want to teach and instill in them, the worry, the everything.

and you think that by 'telling' them the right thing to do is enough. well, its a BIG nope.

you also have to think about how you conduct yourself.
you simply cant be your outrageous-self and expect your kids to be not that.

its sometimes the simplest little habit of yours that will be picked up by them.
like me, seriously, i have to stop swearing (in front of them, at least la kan?).

and the outbursts? yeap, i blame myself too.
(mode: expressing self embarassment) back in our little condo, me and ikan, when we fight those fights, we fought like mad people :p. and unfortunately, all the outbursts were witnessed by them Bs. before you shook your heads, we know that its not healthy. but when in the heat of moment, sometimes logic and sense are thrown out the window. :( sad.. but there it is.

anyway, i think why kids are soooo expressive in their tantrums are because they saw the mother did it, then it must be ok.

gish... i am wallowing with guilt here.

so, being a parent. its hard. its good, though. it forces you to be a better person. and isnt that our ultimate purpose in life- being better?