being a parent is hard.

hahaha..
baru sekarang terfikir?

its not that we dont know this. almost everybody knows that parenting is hardwork.
from birth, with what the waking ups at night, the early education, the lessons we want to teach and instill in them, the worry, the everything.

and you think that by 'telling' them the right thing to do is enough. well, its a BIG nope.

you also have to think about how you conduct yourself.
you simply cant be your outrageous-self and expect your kids to be not that.

its sometimes the simplest little habit of yours that will be picked up by them.
like me, seriously, i have to stop swearing (in front of them, at least la kan?).

and the outbursts? yeap, i blame myself too.
(mode: expressing self embarassment) back in our little condo, me and ikan, when we fight those fights, we fought like mad people :p. and unfortunately, all the outbursts were witnessed by them Bs. before you shook your heads, we know that its not healthy. but when in the heat of moment, sometimes logic and sense are thrown out the window. :( sad.. but there it is.

anyway, i think why kids are soooo expressive in their tantrums are because they saw the mother did it, then it must be ok.

gish... i am wallowing with guilt here.

so, being a parent. its hard. its good, though. it forces you to be a better person. and isnt that our ultimate purpose in life- being better?