to close the week.

this pic was taken back when Busyra visited her grandparents in aloq staq and left mommy crying like a mad woman sebab my kids werent complete... :p

mommy's boy.

here you go.. everybody, meet my boy- Aydeen baby.
also known as aydeen hahamad didin by his sisters :)

i particularly love the way he hold on to my tudung :) heeeheee
(or some may interpret: holding on to mommy)

so..
he is almost 3 months now. *sighs*

Aydeen Muhammad Ahmad Zaidi was born 3.36kg at 10.16am in Columbia Asia Seremban on 3rd Jan 2012. It was one of my most terrifying yet wonderful day of my life!


lemme tell you the story from the beginning, no?

not a lot know that i was scared sh*t with this pregnancy. I was scared at death, being disabled, and other birth complications. i dont know what risks of 'lekatan' are etc etc. (i didnt dare to google cause then i tend to think about it more often...). i was even scared of the impending 'prep' procedure.


[selit jap... in government hospitals, (for elective c-sect) the prep is done hours before the actual operation. like in Hailey's case, i was being prepared for it (insertion of CBD etc) at dawn. after that, it was hours of uncomfortable state (dont get me wrong, i am NOT complaining. they are good and efficient. if i wasnt scared govt doctors may do a btl on me, i would 've just delivered in Serdang too...).
then, i will be pushed to the OR and being lifted la.. pulled at la.. and having your vajayjay stucked with lines isnt helping. and then, the waiting in the cold OR, waitng for the anes specialist and all the 'tegakkan belakang, rehatkan bahu'... OMG! i was even scared at that! abih selit]


i was still scared when we arrived at the hospital. but when Dr Intan came in the OR waiting room, she was all hyped up and cheerful. she said 'ok, Aisyah. I am ready. lets see if the OT is ready, we can go in'


such sempoiness. it literally made all my fears dissapear. :)

and there i was.. after waiting like half an hour in the waiting room, i literally walked myself to the OT. hopped on the OT myself! no tugging/ pulling. i was soo relaxed. in no time, the did the spinal on me. and before i know it.. dr intan was saying 'testing, testing'.

and i was cut.

and then, i felt like my inner organs were sucked out.

and then. it was then. i felt terribly wrong. i remembered the feeling, sh*t! i think im getting a gastric attack.
i said, "tetiba saya rase macam lapar la dr".

they cant give me anything, nor they can guarantee me having something to eat later- im on anes. i cant eat. or else, i may throw up and that is a huge no-no after surgery.

i try to shrug it off. especially when they brought my little boy to me. yeap, there it was. a boy :)


after everything was done, my gynae peeped through my surgery blinds (or whatever you called them), congratulated me and she was out. there. it was done.

until! i reached my room and yeap, i had that gastric attack in full force. its like that same 'nak mati' feeling again. luckily i was still numb and i cant feel my cut pain. they gave me those white solution for gastric and other painkiller drugs. alhamdulillah. i think i passed out a bit after that.

oh well. alls well now. and after only one night in the hospital- im out! weeeeee~~~~

...

just when i reached home. i havent even sat yet.
this guy- ikan said

"ma, kita tutup ngan girl eh?"

i'm a muslim

i was reading loretta chase's blog and stumbled upon this '18th Century Love' blog.
the page i landed was potraying pics of muslims in the US for the 'Campaign Against Streotyping'.

i particularly love this lady, wearing hijab and holding a note saying "Just because I'm wearing a hijab, doesnt mean I'm perfect"

true.

jinx of giddiness.

after finishing Collins' first in her trilogy, i thought i need some time to neutralize my emo.. but, it was, seriously a good book. i indeed intend to watch the movie.

during my so called 'relaxation', i read 2 crappy books.

one was by kleypas- rainshadow road
another was by sarah maclean- a rogue by any other name.

sux.sux.sux. both of them.

i cant believe i wasted ~rm70 for those two. thankfully kino gave 20% discount off for both. or else, i might have wasted rm90!

maybe my expectations were a bit high.. i mean.. kleypas?? now she prattles on magic. next book in the series will be on ghosts. seriously?? (but i will still buy and follow though-- yep, hypocrite that i am :p)

for maclean, i dont think i will be following her anymore. i love her first novel- 9 rules.. but i have read her 2 books completing the series and it didnt do it for me. i rolled my eys like frequently!

i am returning to Collins. huzzah!

the impatient me just have to tell this...

due to positive words from a very trusted reading friend, i bought all three of the 'The Hunger Games' trilogy.

it wasnt because of the movie. it was because of the book, the first one in the trilogy- The Hunger Games.

I SO FREAKIN LOVE SUZANNE COLLINS! and, i am only at chapter 3!

i am crying like a baby..
felt again like that teenage girl on a crush...
and blo.ody! i love all the emotions being narrated in this one- the sadness, the desperation, the pride, the gratefullness..
i cant explain. i just know im gonna love this book. i just hope the movie is also as good. (i purposely read the book first, then will follow with the movie)

go read the book. ;)

being the jakun.

we- me, me hubs and this friend had dinner last night.. and guess who got to ride (while grinning from ear to ear) in THE CAR??

the jakun
(control jakun :) tapi kantoi kat mata yg terbuntang :p)

 

the car



the owner

eh, x amek plak gambar 'the most sporting husband' :)

no story today. i better focus on my audit thing.
haihhh~~



on being a matchmaker.

or make that meddlesome.

hahaha... i will let you in on one of my embarassments..

i was trying to matchmake my friend and a colleague of mine.
this friend, eventhough he is not that (read: Goddess) goodlooking (but not ugly either! Kire, oklah) and not having an impressive career resume (not yet, perhaps...), i still believe him to be quite the catch.
i mean, he does not smoke. he is a gentleman- never does dutch treat and treat women really good- maried and single ones, loves and respect his parents (that tells you something, there!) and humble, albeit sometimes vain too.. :p

oh, oh.. he is a chindian (eh, punjabi actually)

anyway, i have this colleague and i thought that they might suit. so i gave him her number (after she consent in giving- after she searched him in FB).. and i insisted him to call or text her.. in hopes that they might go out and perhaps if not being a couple, be acquaintances.

it turns out- she was not interested. (and from another, i found out that she's into looks! Oh! i have to add that they didnt even had one decent conversation through the phone, much less meet!

Anyway, when this happens, i feel bad. bad for him, actually.. for meddling in the first place and even worst, when i want him to meet my boss (also single- but purely to extend networks! heheh he has rich friends*!... and if (IF!) they hit it off... then why not...? hehehe) .. she also canceled due to work stuff (true)

ok, maybe.. i have a tinie minie agenda why i want my boss to meet him- so that she can see what my colleague is missing... (he has a sportscar...)



fuuhhh... i dont know about cars but i would think any girl would look lovely getting out from this one, eh?

oh well, maybe 'bukan jodoh' applies here too..

but i still feel bad. and it sux.. this feeling.. mainly guilt la kot?

oh why do i bother?????

updated: * rich friends here to imply potential clients- my boss is forever extending networks, esp HNW individuals due to her sales nature. not pimping here. and definitely not saying my boss prefer rich people as friends.
but.. this is not the point of story. so skip along if you have that in your mind. :p

women being women, i guess.

so, i'm back to commuting using the train and that means i'm back to my reading.
i am currently on 'adventures of sherlock holmes' (eh, cam best ok??) and as i was finishing chapter 3, i came across this quote from our PI, taken from an old Persian saying:

"There is danger for him who taketh the tiger cub, and danger also for who so snatches a delusion from a woman"

kah kah kah.
eventhough i didnt agree with Holmes' not telling the 'delusioned' girl of his investigation result, i must admit, it was for the better, huh?

because, sometimes, if i have an idea or a theory in my head- which i am really really passionate about, eventhough some (read: ikan mostly...) might think it not so, boy, i hate to hear him critic ar shoot me down with the truth. it will travel the 'i-dont-believe-you' to 'you-dont-know-see-it-like-i-do' to 'you-dont-understand-me-enough' to 'you-dont-love-me' route. :(  lol!

no wonder jj & ean fo h.itz.fm suggested the 3)Lie detector 2)something cant remember 1)Lie applications for women..kekekeke

so hard to be a woman actually, sometimes, you want to KNOW when people are lying, sometimes, you want them to LIE so that you can be in your happy place. hahahah

latihan peluh.

in pursuit of me trimming me babyfat and ikan well.. dont know why he bother to slim down. i like em just the way 'they' are B-)...

we play badminton every evening..
and now, my other half suggests we go biking... (yeah, cycling, whatever..)

so, we are now in process of surveying bikes pulok.. i am a sucker for conservative everything. but the guy here is hyped on all new things and we end up looking focusing on folding bikes.

from here

i want this- Dahon.. tapi its too expensive plak for our purpose (actually sebab nak kene beli 2, tu yang kene budget).

so, thanks to people in Group.on, we are considering the one by excid.er. InsyaAllah.

the thing is... are you comfortable buying stuff that costs hundreds via the internet? honestly, i dont. i just hope it turns out well.

and, hope this does not turn into what they call- hangat hangat tahi ayam. :)

on j.ane a.usten again.

in Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth (ohh, i soo love quotes from her!) said this- when describing Mr Bingley's affection towards her sister;

"Is not general incivility the very essence of love?"

was it?
do you, without noticing it, lack social manners when you are in love?

hmm..
would my book (kah kah kah) make the male/ female protagonist struck like a fool for love?
but its rather romantic though.. a person being mildly rude- not delibrate though.. cause he/she is in love.
however, i am not sure whether the notion suits malay culture. as we all know, we are bred to conduct ourselves with good manners- always respect older people, never to disagree your parents, salam when arriving and before leaving the house/ company, speak softly in public, never ever curse, always take a care not to offend people, females should always be demure.. you know the drill.

no  la, i dont think it would work. well maybe it can but i havent the idea of how yet. but rest assure that i do not condone kids not respecting their parents, as apparently so-much being showcased by tv dramas nowadays. it goes against my own principle. i just cant write about that.
i am a believer that all normal parents (sans the sickos) love their kids and knows what is best for them.

but does this count?
a person, who may or may have not be in a relationship with this other person, gave his/her supposedly other person the cold shoulder once this person has been struck by another? and, without even the decency to clear things out with that person.
oops, nope. i think this one is considered selfish. heck, people tend to be that as well when they are in El O Vie Ee, huh?

hahah.. i guess im doing this.. this writting thing. but we'll see whether it gets to be finished or not (what confidence i have for myself, huh?)

PS: i mentioned to ikan that i would need his input (male thoughts) to develop my book and he replied- 'you dont need what men think. you just write what you female fantasize.' :p sucker! lol

on receiving good deeds.

a mildly serious post.

being honest here, how well do you receive compliments or offers of good deeds?

are you the sort of those who rejects the offering of good deeds/ compliments by default?- 'oh, takpelah, terima kasih', 'mana ada cantik, xde lah', 'haha, yelah tu'...

or do you take the perasan way out- 'oh, ofkos aku cantek', 'tengok oranglah'...

or do you take it gratefully and maybe, offer the same to the person offering.- 'oh well, thank you. you look pretty yourself', 'thank you, you are so kind'...

i was 'discussing' this with ikan on our way to the bank yesterday and i told him that i once was the first sort of people. that is, when people offers something to me out of kindness, i reject it automatically, without even analysing whether it will help me or not. i will repudiate any compliments saying those 'mana ada' ladidas. why i do this i dont know but nowadays, i am trying to change my ways to be the third kind- the ones gratefully receiving compliments or offers of good deeds. it makes yourself happy and believe or not, it will make the person offering you the compliments and good deeds happy too.

so, back to the bank story.
we took 2 numbers, me and ikan but decided to cancel 'my' business. so, my number is now available (our number were 387 & 388 and had to wait ~an hour for our number to be called). so, when ikan went for his number, i noticed a couple sitting at the back- waiting of course. so i asked them, 'what number are you?' she showed me hers '392'. so i was like, 'do you want mine?' and before i can even finish up my sentence the woman smiled and shook her head. but, me being the deterrent me, i continued, 'ambiklah, saya tak jadi nak pakai'. LUCKILY the husband said 'oh, terima kasih.' and to his wife 'baguslah, lagi cepat dapat'.

lol! did you see? maybe this woman has her own reasons to reject my offer. but to me, instead of me throwing the number and have that whole 'people-twisting-their-heads-looking-out-for-who-has-the-number' issue, would it be better if someone uses my number? i wont feel guilty by taking the number in the first place and she will be able settle her business if not, 10 minutes earlier.

and, when they accepted my offer, i felt happy. if they didnt, i may felt embarassed, i think.

so, the conclusion is... give a thought or two before rejecting one offers. if it does not bring any harm, then why not?

yesterday was my birthday :)

okay, my husband is still away in that hutan of his. so sorrow's still there albeit not that strong (cause he's coming back tonite! yeay!!)

the thing about your birthday is, it always have the effect of joy and happiness within you.
you know the whole sorrow thing from my previous post (yeah, that one).
at night that day (my birthday eve), just before i went to sleep, i thought of how even more melancholy i would be feeling on my birthday sebab i really really miss ikan. i didnt even expect to receive any call from him, considering he might not have any phone signals whatever. i went to sleep at 9.30pm. (deng early huh?)

during my sleep, i vaguely remembered someone called and sang me a birthday song.
that morning, i recalled i think ive spoken with my husband, yeayy!

BUT! thats not my point. my point is, from the moment i woke up, i have this giddy feeling that wont go away.

eventhough, i woke up late.. and, due to rain, i was stuck in traffic. PLUS! the smart tunnel was activated for the flood hence arriving more than late at the office. and then, arriving at the office, some 'negative air' was sensed cause few of my colleagues werent satisfied with our boss. and later, in the afternoon, there's this whole compliance issue to resolve.

albeit all that, i was somehow...still in goodmood for the enitre day! every second of the day!

well, apart from lots of wonderful things happened as well. but the point is, birthdays are nice. you are divinely optimistic in everything.

wished that everyday is my birthday. heh :p

join in on my sorrow...

yes, yes, i am those dramatic person..

my husband is away in god-knows-where hutan and our communication is VERY limited.
FOR A WEEK!

i, like soo many of my friends with the husband goes out station, am feeling very very sorrow.
i am deliriously melancholy. (you are allowed to roll your eyes. yes, you would think this is such drama! heh- i did warn you)

i was wretched when he was away for 3 days.
imagine what i am now. 1 week! with limited communication. seriously!

i watched (read: hooked on) this drama series- Li.fe Unex.pected and i see him. in character AND his physical attributes.
i drive back from work and saw a guy on a scooter and i see him.
i read a book and be reminded of him.
i listen to music and its about him.
i cook and wish he is there with me in the kitchen.
i go grocery shopping and silently have that 'apa lagi bah?' conversation with him.
the worst moments? when i hear gossips or news that i often re-discuss (by discussing, i mean me doing the talking, he doing the 'and-why-would-you-care' grin) with him during our '5 minutes' time, only to know that there wont be that '5 minutes' today.

it doesnt help either when my kids also ask 'abah mesti da datang kat rumah, kan ma?'

so, although i sometimes roll my eyes too, when i see this kinda status in my friends' FB status, i get it. i always have. its us expressing RINDU.

and you know what? tomorrow is my birthday.

heheh.. needy nye, aisyah!