me update

I’m feeling lousy and not proud of it. I know I should be more grateful but I cant myself from feeling what I am feeling right now.

I am feeling sad, and a bit like a loser.

I went to my monthly O&G appointment last night and she told me I am having a girl. Truly Ya Allah, I love my baby. I do not hate her, I swear. Tapi, I feel as though I lost something. I was sooooo sure im carrying a boy. We had finalized some names, betapa poyonye kami.

Adakah aku x bersedia or x sesuai to bring up a boy in the family? Is my parenting suck that im not worthy of a son? Aku nak sangat kasi anak lelaki kat ikan. And how I loved looking at boys cloths kat mother care. I’d berangan- angan to have a little boy in the house, where kakak2 die ‘jaga’ die. And kaki lawan ngan busyra. Busyra nangis macam aqish slalu nangis bila busyra buat…

Aqish seemed to take it well. Kitorg ajar die (hmm, mmg x patut) since I was throwing up lagi yg she’s gonna get a baby brother. She calls him baby amin, short for bunyamin. But after dr had told me the news, I kinda showed my sadness afterwards. I asked her if she liked another baby sister, she was ecstatic. She said ‘Aqish suka baby yg cantik sekali…’ thanks dear kakak, mama felt a bit better hearing your joy.

I love my baby no matter what. I hope, kalau it is surely a girl, biarlah jadi the most girlie girl and not affected by my wanting a boy (kan selalu cerita parents yg sgt nak the other sex lelast anak perangai cam tu.. heheh nauzubillah)

Ya Allah, sihatkanlah anak dalam kandungan ku. Amin.

.

o… btw, I finished Paradise yesterday and its one of my fav contemporary books. Tu je lah. Xde mood nak elaborate.

books lagi

Hahaha.. this is my reading season, so bare with me, no?

 

Anyway, I finished Until You and I liked it very much, after my emotional turbulence with Whitney, My Love. Until You definitely took things slower for me… and I liked it. Very, a lot! I thought of reading Kingdom of Dreams but chose to start Paradise instead. Taking a break from the oh-so-romantic-historical romance thingy. Hahaha, dragon gile aku when I look back- ‘aku adalah payah nak imagine character2 zaman dolu nih…’ heheheh minta maaf, tarik balik.

 

Now I’m reading Paradise and…. Coming a bit slow but I guess akan jadi macam WML kot. I didn’t take 2 weeks to finish, kunon nak take my own sweet time kunon. I started on Monday- 17^th May on my way to work, I finished on Wednesday afternoon. It seemed forever tapinye! Anyway, I just started Paradise last night, kunon nak finish by Thursday ni but I don’t trust myself.

 

I love reading good books!

 

Tapi kan, I think I love a lighter book to read. Kalau hooked pun only few parts. And definitely I hate huge conflicts that will make me cry so bad cam in WML. I told ikan I may read it again like next year ke. X sanggup la emosi sgt.. on book characters plak tuh. Hahahah

I sensed that Paradise pun akan jadi cam tu kot, hmmm… so not ready la for another rollercoaster.

 

 

rintihan aja

Being sick and useless AND being bored of my work is the most menyampah perasaan ever!

 

Urgh!

 

 

OMG! OMG! WML

Whitney, My Love is the best historical romance ever!

 

Buku aku basah sebab banyak sangat nangis, nangis lalak ok?. This is definitely NOT a book to read in LRTs. This book, u need to read at home, at your leisure. Sayangnya aku kat ikan sebab he was so sporting enough to understand my hooked on my WML, at home. Thank you abah!

 

 

hooked on books 2

I finished:

1- Night whispers

2- Someone to watch over me

3- Tender triumph

Currently and patiently reading Whitney, My Love.

My take:-

1-       Night Whispers

I fell in love with this book when I hit the earlier chapters. At first I didn’t think that I would love that much sebab it was about a supposedly beautiful lady cop- huh? Camne nak bayangkan lady cop yg beautiful and sexy and bla bla bla (no offence kalau urself or someone u know is a policewoman eh? Anyway, lepas die berchenta or starting to berchenta ngan Noah Maitland tu yg buat aku hooked, and the family issues. Hahah aku cried on a part about their parted relationship- mana x sedih, anak pompuan kene pisah ngan mak die. Semua pompuan kat dalam citer ni cantik and baik and stunning character J

2-       Someone to watch over me

I was bored initially sebab byk sgt on crime scene and investigations, which I am not interested unless watching CSI… pastu, the lastly-baru-tau-die-hero was pictured as a criminal, where the explanation was very lambat menyebabkan I lambat to fall for the hero.. heheh. And, the heroine, Leigh, was not fully elaborated (the character, I mean…) enough. But, at the end, it was also a book to remember.

3-       Tender Triumph

Hmm, at first I labeled this book as disappointing for a JM. But, under the circumstances of that time, when she published this book (sukati aku je assuming…), I strongly feel that the book was written just to get some sales, sebab this was her second book she wrote after whitney, my love. Tapi sebab WML xde sape nak publish she wrote this. Story x strong but tons of sex scenes. I finished the book in 2 days I think sbb x feel sangat. Towards the end tu baru la nampak cerita and  I feel.. ok lahh.. for an emergency book by JM. Hehehe.

4-       Whitney, my love

I started this morning (napa lah perjalananku sangat singkat?? Ke aku yg slow reader nak mampos?? Heheh).. I am only one fiftieth (exaggerating here…) of the book and I already know I should take my own sweetest time reading it. Tah apa2, pagi tadi dlm monorail I cried. Tapi it was sad- bapak whitney sent her to paris (her dad living in London) sebab she wasn’t girlie enough that it embarrassed him. Sedih. Owhh, but I can wait. I know its going to be a lovely story. I want to take 2 weeks to finish this one. I think its worth the patience, J.

Most likely, next book in line would be Until You (sambung balik ari tu…). Ok. Tu je. Chop, memang I didn’t intend to give a summary of the book. Tooo good for you NOT to read. Sapa nak pinjam bagi la tau ;)

hooked with books

I bought a Judith mcnaught book last 2 weeks, during this book fair at hg tuah station. The purpose was only to fill up my time waiting and staring at people during the commute between sg besi to work.

 

I must say, I really loved the book- night whispers. Memula tu, I was not so addicted as it was about a woman cop. Huh? Seriously? But I turned out really really nice. Addictive nice. Lantas, after finishing the book (sambil berangan-angan ade sequel or any sort of continuance of the characters somewhere), I immediately bought another book by JM. Her books are beautiful. Romantic, and not those boring meaningless romantic. Suspense pun ade..  so, I kononnye carefully choose my next addictive JM book. I bought Until You. Hahahah, I wasn’t prepared that the book I bought was a historical romance. Aku adalah payah nak membayangkan the characters in the 17^th century. I called chot for her help, kot2 she has better JM books, as good as night whisper. Memula tu, I didn’t understand when she asked me, ‘ko nak yang historical ke apa?” aku cam huh? Oooo mungkin JM ni da tulis lama gile and her books are considered historical. Hahahaah Aisyah memang x tau okeh?

 

Anyway, after terpakse reading Until You, which was getting to be interesting tapi my mind was still thinking about Noah Maitland and Sloan Reynolds, tetibe Johanna tegur while I was reading. Turned out she was a true fan of JM and she poured me all of her thoughts. Lantas membuatkan aku terpengaruh. That afternoon, right before lunch time finished (around 1.50pm), aku dah sangat x tahan to go buy the books she recommended. 5 semuanya. Hahah aku buat keje gile and turun jap to MPH crowne plaza to get the books. Malangs sekali, paradise xde, so, I bought the other 4. waaaahhhhhh puas beb!

 

And now im addicted to my 2^nd book. My LRT travel seemed to be too short. Susah to put down the book. But, what a feeling. Plus, I don’t know whether appropriate ke x, but it sure made ikan happy at night., hehehe

 

 

migraine during pregnancy

Aku kene migraine attack since last Wednesday.

 

Background: My normal (before pregnancy) attacks, it’ll wore off after a whole 1 day nap. Previously, I took cafegot lah, ponstant jgn cakap.. all the pain killers for migraine I’ve tried, but it gave the same result. Aku tetap sakit teruk and kene tido the whole day after that (usually the attack comes by around as early as 3pm and worsen during the night). PS aku sgt x suka migraine because I’ll be a total useless bum (twitt, sapa plak yg suka dak??)

Anyway, I took several remedies for this- ubat kampong and went to see a specialist in HUKM. Both aku ikut dgn jayanye. HUKM gave me propanalol.. I have to take it daily… and just to be sure he scheduled for an MRI in june. That went well except I had to ditch them due to my pregnancy.

 

Sekarang: aku sebenarnya jarang or x pernah kene serang during my previous 2 pregnancies. Tapi this one differs! Aku kene attack ari rabu ari tu, together with a pain ass neck, and it didn’t wear off after my 1 day sleep on Thursday. On Friday, aku kene amek EL sbb masih gile babeng sakit. That nite balik alor setar plak. Pun x reda2. ari ahad pun sama. Senang citer, until today I still feel it. Even tho today x seteruk last week’s but still… it bothers me like hell. Menci. Owh.. btw, doctor hanya kasi aku makan panadol and his words- ‘we have to make do with what you can take’. Adoi. In other words, ‘tolan yo lah’.

 

Solution so far: macam biasa lah, all the avoiding food etc (except for coffee- I know I should NOT take sbb pregnant tapi tetibe teringin, but I only take sket je. Just nak hilangkan teringin J ).. I got this from babycenter, which I seriously lack of.

 

‘ Get some exercise
Some evidence shows that regular exercise can reduce the frequency and severity of migraines and reduce the stress that can cause tension headaches. If you're prone to migraines, get started slowly — a sudden burst of activity could trigger one. (And don't exercise once a migraine has started because it will aggravate the headache.)’

 

Heheh I seriously need this. Da lama sgt kitorg x beriadah. Masa mabuk teruk ari tu, ikan dok teman aku memalam, tolong masak and jaga anak, so our night extra curriculum activities terpaksa diletak ke tepi, including ikan’s weekly badminton. Aku pulak, supposedly exercise during weekends tapi asek uwek je… BUT… hopefully, dgn subsiding nye my MS, I am able to continue my exercise. Amin.

 

Hahahh panjang gile, pasal nak cakap nak sambung eksesais je hahahah