changes during...

hmm... a lot had happened.. i sucked in coping with changes... tapi, life must go on. aku kene redha.

for most of my friends (read: friends dalam phonebook aku), they received my joyous news- of the birth of 4.4kg Busyra Hannah on 17th Nov 2008.

then, for most of close friends (pun from my phonebook tapi up to N je.. sbb da xde mood), they received the news of my father's death, on 27th Nov 2008.

then, for a few of my friends, they heard about my busyra hannah admitted to the ICU... on the day my dad died...

i'll share what i had gone thru these few weeks.. semoga it'll lessen my rasa rindu to ayah.

1st- busyra hannah lahir ke dunia...
hahaha... mase aku pregnant, i had this sort of like a vision how i wud spend my maternity holiday.. dalam the first 2 minggu tu, aku plan rehat and ikut pantang mak kedah aku sungguh2 so that aku cepat sihat and kuat so that aku leh enjoy for teh rest of my 6 weeks. da plan nak gi shopping kat ikea and hias2 sket umah aku tu.. (da 2 tahun tapi ghupe cam baru pindah 6 bulan). nak buat projek baju aqish and her sis lah.. nak re-do opis abahnye lah.. hmm.. somehow skang ikea doesnt sound so intriguing la nih..

busyra hannah bt ahmad zaidi came to the world at 8.25pm at hospital serdang on 17th nov 2008, monday.
aku masuk spital kul 3 ptg tu.. hahah sebab utama is nak amek mc sbb mc from dr intan abis ari jumaat ari tu... memula tu ingat nak gi columbia seremban jumpe dr intan je balik sbb die yg syorkan aku rehat kat umah and excercise... tapi takut plak terberanak kat seremban sebab of reasons yg da aku explain kat enrty sbl nih. mak kedah aku suggest pergi je hosp serdang kunon2 da sampai tanda.. hahah nak dapat mc punye pasal... mak kate, 'huh, kalau hosp x kasi mc, kite terus lah pergi serremban..' hahahha.. plan asal kak liza anta kan.. ye lah, takut tgh2 drive aku terbersalin ke.. but, unfortunately, kak datang pagi tu to my house kate most likely die x ikut sbb abg call suh siap2 sbb ayah abang (pakcik ribot) tgh nazak... so, ikut plan mak, kitornag pun siap2 nak ke hospital... ikan dah pergi kerja cam biase da pagi tu...
tetibe, dalam pada tgh bersiap tu, kak dapat berite from abang zaidi yg his dad had died. innalillah..
so, aku pun drive bawak abah n mak n aqish to hosp serdang.... tetibe rase cucuk2 tu tapi x lak aku check interval... maybe sbb cuak sgt dapat x mc.. hahaha
sampai2 at the dewan bersalin, leh lak kitorg tersengih2 sbb macam poyo masuk without the 'aduuhhh sakit dr, sakit!!!.' ooo.. by this time, ikan da sampai hospital dah. die amek time off.
pas aku masuk 'evaluation room' depa, leh lak si staff nurse nih kate graph contraction aku cantek... ooohhh so, betul la aku da datang tanda.. hehehe.
i insisted to have a normal delivery. aku cakap kat bidan and mo. both kasik advice suh c-sect tapi were a bit open to my request. tapi the dr tu still a bit worried and nak mintak oppinion specialist. nak tunggu specialist sket punye lama la... sampai aku suh ikan bawak mak and abah balik dulu... da lebih 4 jam tunggu dah... dah la tpt tu sejuk... pastu, when i was having even regular contraction, aku pun ask for the specialist myself. huh! baru terhegeh2 nak tepon suh dtg... apa daa...
and, to make it short... specialist tuh 99% insist aku c-sect. ade ke kasik aku 'kite takut kalau sangkut dekat bahu, puan. kalau sangkut, kite kene keluarkan no matter what ikut bawah jugak. so, we might have to patahkan bahu die. and after 5 mins x keluar, there's a risk of brain damage. kalau after 10 mins x keluar, baby boleh mati.' full stop. x ngeri aku? jadahnye aku nak risk kan kesejahteraan hidup anak aku for a bearable pain kan? of kos la aku terus kate. bedah je saya dr!.. tapi sbb menghormati ikan, i asked them to wait for my husband.
he came in like 5mins after the horrible talk and walaupun sedih, we agreed to it.
mase tu, aku rase the perasaan to have 5 kids, to experience the normal delivery, the feeling of-sakit-macam-nak-mati tuh... sume cam tengah melayang2 leaving my head.. hmm.. maybe Allah rase i'm not strong enuff agaknye to have it. oo by the way.. leh lak my openning was only 2 and a half cm after 4 hours having the contraction? hahah ye lah.. ade hikmah sume nih...
so, i was pushed to the OT and by 8.30pm, my baby busyra came to the world.. dgn tangisan yg quite kuat jugak... heheh. i took spinal this time so, aku dgr le dr2 nih bet berat anak aku berapa.. cess! hehehe nevermind. asal anak aku sihat. alhamdulillah.... :)
lambat gak i was admitted to wad.. dlm kul 10 ke 11 mlm. the nurse said the anesth. will last for 6 hours.. so aku ingat by that time aku da tdo, so it wont hurt as much kot.. boy was i wrong!! gile sakit mencucuk2. siap bangun mintak painkiller fr nurse aku weh.. she jab me with morphin.. hahah. siap pesan \kat aku jgn mintak before 6 hours sbb nanti ketagih.. (huh.. yeah rite?? AKU ADALAH BENCI DICUCUK MORFIN ITU OK! sesape yg bace.. please opt for some other pain killer. giler x best ok.. cam org gile aku satu hari tu. i had to drink a lotttt utk hilangkan from my system. da la nak pergi tandas gile sekse.. heheh.)
tapi, aku sangat bersyukur sbb that nite, after mu hubby sms-ed all my family n friends, ayah called. he congratulated me. syok dgr suara sihat ayah. he was a bit confused where he was at tapi he sounded happy to hear about busyra hannah. ya Allah.. gembiranye dan bersyukurnye aku my last conversation with him while he was concious was a joyous and happy one. aku harap ayah tau how glad i am to have him as the grandfather for my kids. aku mmg sgt suke cara ayah layan cucu2 die.. very lembut... well.. i'll talk about him later.
however, busyra had to be admitted to NICU sbb she was above 4kg. macrosomic baby... tak sakit apa2 pun, just depa want to monitor... hmmm...
after 4 days kat NICU, busyra pun kuar... hurehhhh... welcome home sunshine no2!

nanti i'll post her pics sbb la nih tgh pantang so, cam ala2 malas except for typing.
i'll talk about the other changes and dugaan in my life maybe tomorrow sbb i'm gonna chase aqish to take her bath now. da kul 6ptg da nih...